Content Warning: This article discusses sensitive topics like addiction and self-harm.
January 2015 marked a pivotal moment in Liam Hughes’ life. He stood in the players’ tunnel at Cambridge United’s Abbey Stadium, gazing at football legends like Angel di Maria, Radamel Falcao, Robin van Persie, and David de Gea. Cambridge, a League Two team, was about to take on Louis van Gaal’s Manchester United in the fourth round of the FA Cup, a defining moment in Hughes’ career.
Fast forward a few months, and Hughes found himself in a much darker place. A harrowing overdose incident left him slumped in his backyard, teetering on the brink of self-destruction. “In my head, I had convinced myself that everybody would be better off if I was no longer here,” recalls Hughes, now 31, in an exclusive interview with Sport News Center. “I was on a one-way street to an early grave.”
Today, Hughes plies his trade for seventh-tier Worksop Town, who are set to clash with Blyth Spartans in the third qualifying round of the FA Cup. But his journey has been anything but straightforward. Hughes has chosen to share his story, shedding light on his struggles with mental health and the arduous path to rebuilding his life.
A Twist of Fate
The turning point came shortly after that memorable FA Cup match against Manchester United. Hughes, a regular starter for Cambridge, suffered a serious ankle injury that ruled him out of the game at Old Trafford. At just 22 years old, his mental health started to unravel, even though he had recently become a father for the second time.
“All the elation and positivity I had been feeling, which masked over issues I had with my unhappy home life at the time, vanished,” says Hughes. “My drinking became worse. I felt isolated and my mental health went downhill to the point where I was starting to question life itself.”
In the depths of despair, Hughes engaged in dangerous behaviors, including drink-driving and suicidal thoughts. He even contemplated crashing his car on his way to training. “Looking back, the concerning thing for me is the complete disregard I had in terms of my responsibilities as a father, as a provider – those things came second to how I was feeling.”
As the darkness consumed him, Hughes secretly hoarded painkillers, falsely claiming they were for his ankle injury. “I stored them at home until I had a substantial amount. I remember my first suicide attempt as clear as day.” Fortunately, his then-partner intervened in time, and he received treatment in the hospital.
But the battle was far from over.
Descending into Addiction
Hughes, once a fans’ favorite at Cambridge, faced an uphill battle. After leaving the club in 2016, he joined Inverness Caledonian Thistle in the Scottish Premiership but soon found himself back in England. By 2017, he was ensnared by a cocaine addiction during a stint in the National League at Barrow.
“I was on good money at Barrow – almost £1,000 a week – and I was spending anywhere from £300 to £600 every week on cocaine,” he admits. His life had spiraled into a never-ending cycle of drugs and alcohol as he sought solace in substances.
As if addiction wasn’t enough, Hughes also began to self-harm. “I cut my face, I put cigarettes out on myself. It was just where my mind used to go. I was punishing myself.”
Despite his tumultuous off-field behavior, Hughes continued to receive offers from clubs. “I had become a master in manipulation,” he confesses. “Although I didn’t want to be the center of attention, I didn’t want to draw attention that I was struggling with drink or drugs, so I would act like a clown to get a few giggles from team-mates.”
In the midst of it all, suicidal thoughts persisted. He made another suicide attempt during a night out in York while playing for National League North club Darlington in 2018. There was another incident involving the police after he vandalized a hotel room. Even on Christmas Day in 2018, he was attacked by four men and robbed of £350 when trying to buy cocaine.
Road to Recovery and Redemption
Today, Hughes resides near Hull with Jenny, his partner of five years, and is a stepdad to Polly, 10, and Nellie, eight. He also has three daughters from a previous relationship – Grace-Mai, 10, Bella-Rae, eight, and Hope-Willow, six. Hughes reflects on the impact his story might have on his children: “One day my children will be older and they will read things that will be upsetting, but I want them to look back and say ‘my dad fought mental health and addiction.'”
It was the robbery incident that finally prompted Hughes to seek help and check into rehab. “I was taking more and more drink and drugs, and telling myself ‘I’ll get help the next day.’ It became a repetitive cycle until I eventually realized I might not see the next day.”
He spent a month at Sporting Chance, an organization that supports current and former professional athletes with various mental and emotional health issues. Four years after rehab, Hughes acknowledges that he’s a “work in progress.” He works full-time and strives to raise awareness of mental health and addiction issues by sharing his own experiences.
“I’m not saying all my problems have gone away, and I still have the odd wobble,” he concedes. “I have to work on myself every day. I’m not perfect but I’ve gone from the bottom of the barrel and knocking on hell’s door to trying to be a better human being. I’m dealing with my problems and being honest.”
Hughes’ story serves as a testament to resilience and the human capacity to overcome even the darkest of times. As he looks forward to marrying Jenny in Portugal in July 2024, he hopes that his journey will inspire others to seek help and embark on their own path to recovery.
If you or someone you know has been affected by the issues discussed in this article, support and information are available through BBC Action Line. Remember, there is hope, even in the darkest of moments.
